


All He Really Needs

by MoominJaye



Category: South Park
Genre: Crushes, Happy Ending, Light Angst, M/M, Mutual Pining, One-Sided Attraction, Pining, Unrequited Crush, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-03-19
Updated: 2018-03-31
Packaged: 2019-04-04 15:43:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,468
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14023428
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MoominJaye/pseuds/MoominJaye
Summary: In the early hours of the morning, when the sun has risen but everyone else lay sleeping; this is when Stan finds himself admiring the things he can't have.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Wow idk why I wrote this. To be honest I am sorta feeling angsty about my unrequited crush, this was sorta a projection vent lol
> 
> This hasn't been proof read/beta'd but I don't think there are too many mistakes, I have read it through a good couple of times myself but sorry in advance lol
> 
> Also I come from UK, so sorry if there are any British terminology, because obviously it is set in America.

The light flooded through the gaps in the curtain making his already pale skin look near florescent. His freckles were barely visible normally but under the morning sun's spotlight, they were still faint but dusted his cheeks and the shells of his ears. Stan secretly revelled in the fact that not a lot of people had seen them. That not many people had seen Kyle so close up like this.

Kyle was a peaceful sleeper, barely made a sound, even his breathing was light, which was an ironic juxtaposition from his conscious self. He looked so pretty and delicate in the early hours of the morning, when Stan had woken with the sunrise, if he had slept at all that is. Stan made it his hobby to study his best friend in these hours, knowing he had to refrain when they are both awake. Lest he get caught.

His hair was crazy, unruley, and it made him very self-conscious around everyone else, but he didn't care when he was around Stan, giving up on trying to tame or hide it if favour of letting it be. He would occationally let Stan run his hand through it. It was never a spoken arrangement, it was just a known thing between them as they were watching a film, or talking in the dead of night. Sometimes it was a tentative action, Stan, not wanting to frighten his friend like he was but a deer in headlights, reaching out with the utmost care; and othertimes it was playful and silly, ruffling his hand through his thick bright curls. Either way Stan loved every moment of it, the feeling of the curls wrapping around his fingers like they were trying to drag it deep into the ocean bed, the tickle of each strand as they brushed up against his wrist. It was something he could only apreciate with Kyle, and that also made him feel special.

His frame was thin, and his limbs awkwardly long. His sholders were narrow and delicate, delicate like every bone in his body. He hardly put on weight, and his bone were visible around his hips and collar bone, and also his knees, elbows, and ankles. Anywhere that is particlularly boney for most people, Kyle's body emphasised. Stan often thought that he was the perfect balance of soft and anglular. He was thin but he wasn't fit, his belly was soft and a perfect cushion for Stan's head. His sholders weren't as soft to lean on but Stan still loved sitting side by side, his head on Kyle's shoulder and Kyle's on the top of Stan's head.

Stan noticed a light flurry of freckles on Kyle's shoulder, that peaked up over the duvet that covered them both. It was mid Summer, so sleeping in just lounge pants were becoming the accepted norm. It made Stan feel even more of a perv as he looked at the newly exposed upper body of his super best friend as he lie asleep next to him. But Stan's mind was hazy from sleep deprivation and didn't listen too much to the voice of reason in his head. His eyes followed the freckle trail up the other's neck, reaching his hand up in a trance like state to feel them, as if they would feel any different from the rest of his skin. Before he could stop himself, he found his fingertips brushing over the fair hairs on the others neck, hovering there for a second before delicately laying his fingers on the sleeping boy's skin. Hardly light enough to be felt, but more than enough to make tears well up behind Stan's eyes.

It was hard for him most of the time. Having to hide these feelings for the beautiful boy laying next to him, so close that their legs had tangled up and the black and red hairs which splay out on their shared pillow had started to mingle together at the ends, like a perfect metaphor for their relationship in his eyes: Too close but never close enough. He wanted to be pressed up against him, he wanted to feel his breath on his face, that faint, quite breath. Stan was selfish. He had so much already but he forever wanted more.

He wanted to feel those lips. Those oh so perfect lips against his own. He had kissed before, but he had never wanted to as much as he wanted to kiss Kyle. The thought made his eyes sting further, made the corners start to dampen and he needed to stop thinking about this otherwise Kyle would wake up to him crying, and how would he explain that?

He knew he could never have him. And that is why he was currently fighting back the tears. He removed his fingers from the other boy's neck and clenched it infront of his face, scrunching his eyes closed in the process. The only time he was allowed to look at Kyle, _really_ look at him, was when the other boy wasn't aware of his scrutinizing eyes. That thought made Stan feel like even more of a creep. He hated that he needed him so much. He hated that he was probably falling in love with him if he hadn't already.

He let out a strangled cry, covering his face with his hand and the pillow, and keeping his eyes shut tightly. Thats when he heared the stirring of the boy next to him. Just a simple sigh which notified Stan of Kyle's slowly growing consciousness. Stan tried to look more natural, not wanting Kyle to notice that he was already awake. Kyle always thought he woke up first, Stan was good at pretending, and would stay like that for half an hour before pretending to stir as well.

Kyle always wished him a good morning the same way, calling him a sleepyhead for staying asleep for so long, even though it was only around 8am in reality. However Stan loved the familiarity of it, loved the warmth in the other words because they both know he means no malice by them.

Stan would quickly forget about his huge rush of emotion he had this morning as the day went on. Like he forgot every sleepover they had. He was only ever really sad in the moments he was alone to his thoughts, because when he was with Kyle, when they were doing whatever the hell they did, he was reminded why he felt so much for the boy in the first place, and he forgot all about his selfish needs in favour of the comfortable and safe and happy feelings he felt when he was around his Super Best Friend.

And thats all he really needed.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kyle thinks about his relationship with Stan, and makes a huge discovery.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So the comments on the last chapter were near basically unanimous. Ending 3 it is!
> 
> How it works though, is each chapter is each ending, so chapter 1 is ending 1, chapter 2 is ending 2 and chapter 3 is ending 3. (If that makes sence lol)  
> So basically, if you don't want to see them get together (because you hate happiness and love suffering), you can just... Not read chapter 3...
> 
> Anyway on with the chapter, same pre-appologies apply:  
> I'm British - sorry for mistaken terminology  
> I haven't had this proof-read by anyone but me, sorry for typos.

Kyle always woke up first at sleepovers.

He didn't resent this. In fact, it gave him the perfect opportunity to admire the boy laying way too close beside him.

Stan always seemed to cover his face up when he slept. Kyle often wondered why this was. Mostly, Stan was the one to fall asleep first, he could pin point the moment when Stan's breathing became natural and less thought out. Stan often thought too much, letting small comments affect him more than he was ever willing to admit, he cared about his appearance, and what people thought about about him, and it annoyed Kyle to no end. When it was just the two of them, Stan's whole demeanour became real, he didn't try to fake any part of himself as if to impress. That is when he likes Stan the most, obviously he always liked Stan, however, Kyle just wishes he would act more like himself all the time.

Stan was a loud sleeper. He didnt sleep talk, and he rarely snored, but his breathing was always really heavy. Almost drowning out the distant noise of ticking from an alarm clock. Kyle often wonders if _he_ sleeps like that, wonders if it annoys Stan. Stan's breathing doesn't annoy Kyle, he takes comfort in the heavy rise and fall of his chest, immersing himself in it, using it as some sort of hypnotic act, falling asleep to the rhythm of it.

When they slept around Kyle's house, they would often lay in bed and talk to each other in hushed tones, Kyle's mom would have come in after putting Ike to bed to tell them to keep the noise down. They didn't have that trouble at Stan's, the two of them able to make noise until stupid hours of the morning. However, Kyle didn't hate it. He actually would often look forward to his uninterrupted talks with Stan. Most of the time it was just a way Kyle could rant to his best friend, he always notices this after a while, but Stan never seemed to mind, in fact, he seemed to really listen to whatever Kyle was saying, staring intently into the others eyes with honest interest. Kyle realises in those moments just how lucky he is. To have someone so generally thoughtful in his life. To have Stan in his life. Sometimes, after the words on Kyle's tounge would die out, the two would just stare at each other, stare into each other's eyes as if trying to find buried treasure. Staring until one or both of their eyes would droop shut and the fight to keep them open was lost. This was Kyle's favoirite way to fall asleep.

Kyle wondered sometimes what it would be like if they were more than Super Best Friends. If kissing Stan's tense jawline when he saw it clenched too tightly was a normal, and accepted act. If stroking his cheek as they stared at each other before falling asleep, and scooching forward to bury his head in the other's shoulder and falling asleep like that, was something that he could do without creeping Stan out. He wasn't sure if that was what he wanted, he knew the implications of these thoughts but he doesn't quite know if he was ready to admit them. He was happy enough with where they were, not many people had this closeness with someone, and Kyle was greatful for that.

Stan could choose anyone. He is a kind boy; objectively good looking; good at sport; loves animals; good listener; an all round amazing human being. Kyle was bitchy and loud, everyone knew it, he knew it. Sometimes he really hated himself, sometimes he would look in the mirror just to point out his bad qualities: wild hair; big nose; lanky and awkward; in the Summer he could even begin to notice his faint freckles and his mind would always go to Cartman and his less than pleasant opinion on 'gingers'. But these things never mattered to him when he was around Stan. He felt as though Stan looked at him, and saw this amazing person. Like he couldn't live without him. Kyle loved it, in fact, he held Stan's opinion of himself highly. He couldn't hate himself when he knew this amazing boy loved him this much. Love, of course, in a platonic way. Just how Kyle loved Stan. Platonically. He thinks.

Kyle wishes every night could be a sleepover night with Stan. Even though they both only had single beds, and it got ever harder to fit as they both grew, Kyle would still prefer the mornings when he woke up to Stan's company.

Although never noticing any rough movement, Stan always woke up looking rough. His short hair would always have one or two tuffs that would completely defy gravity and stick up vertically. No amounts of brushing able to tame it. Kyle knew the feeling all too well. He would wake up with heavy bags under his eyes and Kyle often wondered if he always woke like this or he found it hard to sleep with him there too. Maybe the love for sleepovers were one sided. However, if this was the case, Stan made no signs in wanting them to stop. Also, Kyle was too selfish to call it off on his own.

This morning, as the light peaked through the curtains, Kyle found himself staring at Stan's fist as it covered his face. He wanted to reach out and grab it, hold it in his own hand. Lace his fingers inbetween his and stroke this thumb with his own. He imagined vividly as he would pry it away from the sleeping boys face, lift his other hand to tilt his chin and plant a soft and delicate kiss on the other's soft lips. He imagined how Stan would wake up to this, smile against Kyle's mouth before kissing back, lazy and slow. When Kyle would finally pull his face away Stan's eyes would flutter open for the first time and his smile would be back and maginfied. He would squeeze the hand intertwined with his and whisper "I love you" so quitely it may not have even made a noise. When Kyle was snapped from his imagination he felt his cheeks glow a deep shade of red. His eyes wide and his hand clasped over his mouth in shock.

He had never been so intimate in his thoughts. It had never been so clear to him the extent of his emotions. He wanted so much for Stan to tell him he loved him. Not just as friends but as something more. He wanted Stan in his life forever and only now did he realise to what extent. It was such a huge penny-drop moment that Kyle wonders how on earth he hadn't realised it before.

He was in love with Stan. So much so that his stomach hurt. Although, However scary this revelation was, Kyle was almost relieved. Like he had figured out a big part of himself. He loved Stan Marsh. Not platonically. He just loved him. More than anything in the world.

Kyle became euphoric. He wished Stan was awake so he could tell him about his self-revelation before realising that Stan was the last person he wanted to talk to about it, but also the only person he could. Although this was disappointing, he couldn't find it in himself to feel down. He felt a whole weight lift off his shoulders, being about to say those things to himself.

And as Stan awoke, Kyle greeted him like he did every morning they were together, but softer. He could feel today was going to be a good day. Up until the time Stan would have to leave and he couldn't see him again until the next morning. Every moment he could spend with Stan he would make the most of, because not only did he love the boy infront of him, but he made him love himself too.

And thats all he really needed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed ending 2!! Kyle's self descovery! Stay tuned for chapter 3! 
> 
> Thank you for all the comments on my last chapter! I love reading them always even if I don't reply! I hope this chapter was reply enough xD
> 
> ((I have an idea for another Style fic, but I don't wanna start if before this ine is finished so... that might happen soon??))

**Author's Note:**

> So, I have left this as complete, but I do have 3 posiible endings for this in my mind.  
> 1\. Unrequited (this one)  
> 2\. Mutual pining  
> 3\. Happy ending where they get together
> 
> I'm happy leaving this like this, cus I hate having nice things looool 
> 
> But if you guys want more, just tell me what sorta ending you would like lol


End file.
